May 30, 2012
What happens on that fateful day when the call comes that your son was killed in an auto accident?
The shock waves through you and the disbelief sets in. You get angry, wondering why. He was too young. He has a family. Then
guilt comes because, "it shouldn't have been you". As time passes the feelings of despair and hopelessness follow
you everywhere. You don't feel like connecting with anyone right now. You feel numb and isolated. After a while this
loneliness may or may not pass. If not, it is wise to seek some help. An empathetic listener or counselor would support you
through this critical time. When you are able to move on with your life and accept what has happened, time will have a way
of smoothing out the edges, but it never completely takes away that feeling in your heart. Each anniversary, remembering who
he was and how the times way back were not what you really wanted for him. Remembering how he rose above those times and became
a good man, trying to do what was right for himself and his family.
If someone you know is grieving, the best and only way to support them is to
be caring and sincere. It is not a time to "fix" them, they need to work through their feelings. Listening with
genuine sincerity, letting them be quiet, or express their grief any way they need to. Personally, the worst words I feel
that someone in grief needs to hear is- "God doesn't give us more than we can handle"...or "It's all
in the Plan"! Anyone who has lost a child will tell you that those words make it even more painful and questionable as
to why they have lost someone. Gentleness, empathy, and respectfulness are all that is needed.
~I remember 1989.